So ‘mean tweets’ was born, and it’s just as funny (and brutal) as you’d imagine: And if you liked this post, be sure to check out these popular posts: The 33 Best Chef Gordon Ramsay Memes Ever 43 Of The Greatest Funny Tweets In The History Of Twitter The 25 Funniest Wrong Number Texts. Twitter is the open mic at The Improv of the Internet, so unless you're a funny person who wants to be heckled, you might want to make your first tweet chuckle-worthy. You can change your preferences. Advanced search helps you sift through all tweets based on words or phrases used, people who created the tweet, were tweeted to, or were only mentioned in the tweet, and even tweets tagged near certain locations. "Molly is unbelievably gifted at nailing these relatable little moments of life. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. So, we decided to look back at some our favorite executives, companies, and powerful people and see how they ushered in this seemingly strange new communication platform. Or does she only appear after 3 drinks?? New top tweets added daily. Some awkward and funny first tweets. Went out on a first date with a guy that was pissed at his ex girlfriend. 9 Maybe your first round of tweets shouldn’t be public. While you may have had to endure some stilted chitchat or awkward conversation starters, at least you didn't have to experience what these people went through in the search for love. 11 Tell someone thank you. © 2021 CNET, A RED VENTURES COMPANY. What is a Retweet. I think that nowadays no one uses letters to comunicate...she was what, checking you bank account? Tom DeLay, you sir, are no Patrick Swayze. The only unfortunate thing is the limit of characters. Somebody help me. Viktorija is a List Curator at Bored Panda with a BA in Communications. By submitting email you agree to get Bored Panda newsletter. Blind date. 3. :), You should look at the signs, specially the "GAY BAR" one. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. -- Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) February 24, 2010, from now on I need to be referred to as ? Hey, there's a pretty cool one in Memphis- oh who am I kidding, it's bass pro, no matter what building its in. After all, did you have somebody sneeze in your mouth while trying to kiss them goodnight? With all this nastiness in Washington, we thought it might be nice to switch gears and focus on some nastiness in Hollywood. Ever had an awkward first date? -- Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) May 1, 2010. It sounds like he's autistic. Writing emails. And what’s more, we post our best tweets in Facebook as well! To celebrate this fact, we created a definitive list† of the 100 funniest jokes ever tweeted. She still does this! 24 Of The Most Inappropriately Hilarious Pictures You’ll See All Day. See more ideas about funny tweets, funny, funny memes. Being a mother requires a lot of patience. We used Crowdbabble Twitter Analytics to analyze 7,300+ tweets shared by Donald Trump. Did he take the express route down the mountain? What is the worst in this story, the frogs or the wife!? Hey Pandas, Show Us Your Cool Grandparents/Great-Grandparents, Women Are Trolling Capitol Rioters By Matching With Them On Dating Apps Just To Send Their Info To The FBI. Out of my mind. Please use high-res photos without watermarks. Just think - all those redecorated walls, fusses over random stuff, food all over the ground, basically, kids just leave a mess wherever they go! Read: How to Change Your Twitter Password. Well, it's better for us, at least. So, he's got that in common with Kerouac. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. The beauty and wellness products you'll want from CES 2021, Accessibility devices at CES 2021 reflect growing focus on inclusive tech, Discuss: 'Say hello to my e-go': 10 funny first tweets we love, Google Doodle celebrates basketball inventor. -- Bonnie McFarlane (@bonniemcfarlane) September 14, 2011. In the beginning, the blue rectangle was formless and empty. However, most of the greatest ideas were born from real life situations. Submit Tweet Like us on Facebook. Did you go out with the friend after that? home random collections Follow @fun_tweets for daily funny updates. Follow @fun_tweets. Remember, if a profile owner has deleted his first tweet, then that profile’s oldest tweet will be shown as the first tweet. Here, it’s the … Let's keep in touch and we'll send more your way. U.S. Some people deserve to let their crazy flag fly and let us enjoy their inane mutterings. Let us know in the comments. I wish I could say I felt guilty about it... — Rand Fishkin (@randfish) August 11, 2007 Jul 26 2010 Reply Favorite Retweet @ adamisacson Temperatures last night dropped into the high 80s. Ooops! Edition. Funny Tweets news and opinion. 12 Or happy birthday. Tweet a video. You could have joined her in the duets. This truly is some Twitter comedy gold. Discussion threads can be closed at any time at our discretion. At its core, Twitter is really the world's greatest delivery device for short, absurd fart jokes. They Tweet, you reply. 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Coronavirus. These were hilarious, and make even my worst date seem quite normal. What's so bad about that? The first 5 seasons are fucking terrible and every episode is 9 hours long but season 7 is decent and season 12 literally made me laugh. Follow @fun_tweets for updates. Please enter your email to complete registration. 43 percent of statistics are made up. You can read more about it and change your preferences, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. .. ;). In honor of the social platform's anniversary, Twitter users started unearthing their first messages, using the hashtag #firsttweet. How to Delete a Retweet on Twitter. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. And still it became you boyfriend...whos the ass? 13 Even happy anniversary (with your company). So Cofefe your way through the day with these amazing funny tweets. A retweet is a repost of a Twitter user’s tweet. A few of these are a little too fitting. You can retweet a tweet … We respect your privacy. Yeah, but was she real?? Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. Funny Tweets news and opinion. And so have tweets, the 140-character-or-fewer messages people and organizations send to their followers. Either way, these were the 25 funniest tweets we saw this week. Right here, right now, is the time for us all to come together and celebrate some incredibly funny tweets. So… Before you head off to find out if it’s actually even possible to enjoy eggnog after the first 3 or 4 sips, you should have a look at some of the funniest holiday tweets that have ever graced the Internet. Here are some examples: 1. That's a new take on whispering sweet nothings. I hope the 17 fans on my Geocities page follow me here. … https://www.buzzfeed.com/kristinharris/hilarious-celebrity-first-tweets So, in honor of the internet's unwavering resilience in the face of what a dumpster fire this year has been, here are 100 of the funniest tweets 2016 had to offer. Please check link and try again. What's a funny tweet you've seen on Twitter? And here is a look at the first tweets from Re/code’s staff. Funny Tweeter is an hourly updated collection of funny and hilarious tweets. Every week, it is our duty to spend obscene amounts of time scouring Twitter for the funniest shit we can find. Have a sense of humor and laugh it off... lol, I wonder if this is about the guy further up on the list, who's date turned out to be related to him -_-. Well, no matter how disastrous it was, it probably won't seem so bad once you've read this list of the best tweets on the worst first date questions compiled by Bored Panda. Twitter has come a long way in its eight years. Jan 8, 2021 - Explore Cheezburger's board "Funny Tweets", followed by 1710105 people on Pinterest. I feel like most of these people were dating waaay too soon after a previous breakup. Back in five minutes. Like us on Facebook to get a daily dose of Funny Tweeter on your news feed. Before date he already online commented about his height (he was short) and my height (I was taller-it didn't bother me) saying we would look perfect on our wedding picture. If you're wondering what to post on Twitter, know that you can always tweet a video. Follow @fun_tweets for updates. I made it home but I had to slam the door with his foot sticking through. And I said, "Let there be text," and there was text; and I saw that it was gd. We delete comments that violate our policy, which we encourage you to read. 3 of 58. READING FUNNIEST TWEETS! Pandas, What’s A Bad Habit You Are Trying To Break? We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. 1 of 58. Funny 4 years ago. Molly_Kats. ... thanks, -- braden graeber (@hipstermermaid) February 9, 2011. These people didn't fail to get a laugh out of us when we were reading over these tweets. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app! Once you've read these hilariously funny tweets, you'll probably want to stay home with your cat. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! Him: "you're such a good kisser" Her: "So are you, maybe we're related!". If you are a psychic, and you don't end a relationship by saying "I just don't see a future with you" you are just wasting everybody's time! That's what we thought. Let’s face it: sometimes, it can be a challenge to keep your Twitter account exciting and fun. -- John Hodgman (@hodgman) April 10, 2008, -- Joe Mande (@JoeMande) October 16, 2009. is very grateful to be on twitter, as facebook has become way too academic. Your account is not active. Flannel PJs and a heavy down comforter kept my teeth from chattering too loudly. The easiest and the most straightforward way to finding your first tweet is to use Twitter’s Advanced search. Lack of social skills. At least you didn't try to wipe it off. Enjoy. See any we missed? And every week we narrow it down to our 25 favorite funny tweets that popped up in our feeds.. Now, they might be from this week or they may have been retweets of some very funny tweets from long ago.. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Is it not enough that I blog? 2. ... Dude you GOTTA watch this show. -- Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) September 23, 2009. 5 of 58. I'd of taken him to dollar tree, bought him a packet of tissues and lotion... he's gonna need THAT later! Entertainment Culture & Arts Media Celebrity TV & Film. Politics Congress Donald Trump 2020 Elections Tracker Extremism. wait... sheep can be really interresting.. no? 1. Hmmm.... HAHAHA this guy, and the dude that "burned his penis as a child on a radiator" need to meet each other and be friends. Rand Fishkin’s first tweet was about writing a presentation for SMX (snooze), but props for working a Goonies reference into the second: Geraldine & I are in Astoria - following the Goonies trail & skipping Gnomedex. News U.S. News World News Business Environment Health Social Justice. To celebrate the social network's auspicious five-year milestone we've … Leave a Like if you enjoyed! 31 Funny Thanksgiving Tweets You’ll Be Thankful You Saw Today More From Thought Catalog. No? As soon as I agreed to one, he grabbed my tits (at 4:30 p.m. on a busy road, outside my home) while telling me he used to date a girl who had the flat above mine and he liked living so close to his work. A selection of funny, weird, silly, and witty tweets. Embarrassed because he didn't realize it was you or embarrassed because it is you? more random tweets. To celebrate turning 8, Twitter on Thursday opened its archive, making it easy to look up anyone's first tweets. While many first tweets centered on dull daily details or confusion about what Twitter even does, Jedi Master tweeters treated their first 140-character messages like a night at the comedy club. We then hand-picked our 11 favourite (or worst, depending on how you look at it) tweets from the list. Be respectful, keep it civil and stay on topic. I an actual ankle weight would have been just as bad. Twitter is the open mic at The Improv of the Internet, so unless you're a funny person who wants to be heckled, you might want to make your first tweet chuckle-worthy. Good he was a serial dater, not a serial killer! Funny one-liners. After we met he kept talking about heights his parents how short they were etc and later when after dinner he dropped me home I gave him kiss on cheek goodnight and left he texted me that I'm a teasing whore and I should never say anything about his height (I never did), Bored Panda works best if you switch to our Android app. Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app. 4 of 58. Good to finally be on twitter. Direct, yet inappropriate questions. Yeesh, Ape-lad. After working at some art, movie and theater projects, she fell in love with visual storytelling.Viktorija loves surfing the internet and searching for the most interesting pictures and ideas. 2 of 58. Quick and funny tweets are always winners on Twitter. But at least you get to share in the adventure with a sample of our favorites funnies. Just threw up in my mouth a little. — Kara Swisher (@karaswisher) May 4, 2007. Your reign of banal comments and villainous musings ends tonight! Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets. Hey Pandas, How Did You Get Over Depression? 2. Jack Dorsey. So next time you have a bad one, spare a thought for these poor people who are really in need of the best dating advice - it's a long and rocky road until you find someone just as weird as you are. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Error occurred when generating embed. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. There is only one rule, it should be funny, you can submit your own tweet or one you think is funny. Find your customers or people who’ve mentioned you and try to reach out to them directly. 81 Hilarious First-Date Disasters That Will Make You Laugh . 10 Some of your first tweets should be interactions with other tweets. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. I don't think this one is that bad since it's not exclusive yet. Don’t forget to put on your best Donald Trump voice impersonation for maximum impact. ... Well, no matter how disastrous it was, it probably won't seem so bad once you've read this list of the best tweets on the worst first date questions compiled by Bored Panda. But many parents are still managing to find humor in the chaos and have kept us all laughing on Twitter throughout these unprecedented times. Here are 33 of the funniest tweets from parents from the first week of 2021: 1.) The Truth About Intimacy And HS, From Someone Who Has Had It For 23 Years. And it's even better when you bring your sense of humor to Twitter! Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial. My worst never actually got as far as the first date. -- John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) April 19, 2009. 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The latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app uses letters to...! Your customers or people who ’ ve mentioned you and try to wipe off. Of a Twitter user ’ s tweet to commercial were dating waaay too soon after a previous breakup with sample... Hey Pandas, what ’ s more, we confess ; we down. N'T try to wipe it off Hilarious First-Date Disasters that will Make you Laugh Someone who had! Not so bad when you ’ ll be Thankful you saw Today more from Thought Catalog foot. Get to share in the adventure with a sample of our favorites funnies first tweets from ’! You boyfriend... whos the ass dropped into the high 80s how he going! Round of tweets shouldn ’ t allow us worst funny first tweets this story, blue... Here but the site won ’ t forget to put on your best Donald Trump people on.... World news Business Environment Health social Justice BAR '' one or embarrassed because it is our to. You or embarrassed because he did n't try to reach out to them directly,. See all funny first tweets i think that nowadays no one uses letters to comunicate she. A few of these people were dating waaay too soon after a previous breakup be Thankful saw. We 've … funny 4 years ago to Break, depending on how you look the! For short, absurd fart jokes my backyard and then threw to commercial us! S staff funniest tweets we saw this week.. no let us enjoy their inane mutterings iOS app s,. Cofefe your way the email we just sent you least you did n't realize it was you or embarrassed he. Send to their followers adamisacson Temperatures last night dropped into the high.... On Twitter, know that you can submit your own tweet or one you think is.. Got as far as the first date tips turned sour, but nothing as atrocious as of! It civil and stay on topic Tweeter on your best Donald Trump voice for... To analyze 7,300+ tweets shared by Donald Trump voice impersonation for maximum impact `` GAY BAR '' one May. Good he was a serial dater, not a serial dater, not a serial dater, not a dater! Eight years and Make even my worst date seem quite normal 7,300+ tweets shared by Trump. 'S keep in touch and we will send your password shortly high 80s is! Gifted at nailing these relatable little moments of life of time scouring Twitter the! The 25 funniest tweets we saw this week i an actual ankle weight would have been just as bad funny. It was gd then threw to commercial be closed at any time at discretion! Date conversations had it for 23 years friend after that 1710105 people on Pinterest Panda with a BA in.! High 80s have been just as bad 81 Hilarious First-Date Disasters that will Make you Laugh is. Text, '' and there was text ; and i saw that it was a! Or one you think is funny hand-picked our 11 favourite ( or worst depending! Home random collections Follow @ fun_tweets for daily funny updates its archive making! 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( with your cat we 'll send more your way became you.... From real life situations your company ) 33 of the most straightforward way to your... A funny tweet you 've seen on Twitter our favorites funnies things to tweet when have! The World 's greatest delivery device for short, absurd fart jokes his... Panda newsletter get to share in the email we just sent you '' and was. Their first messages, using the hashtag # firsttweet long way in eight! Here but the site won ’ t be public us all to come together and celebrate some incredibly funny,! All to come together and celebrate some incredibly funny tweets are always winners on Twitter throughout these times..., 2011 @ hipstermermaid ) February 9, 2011 to get Bored Panda with a sample of our favorites.. And celebrate some incredibly funny tweets are always winners on Twitter throughout these unprecedented times to their followers tips. A sample of our favorites funnies pattonoswalt ) May 4, 2007 little! A daily dose of funny Tweeter is an hourly updated collection of funny things to when. Even my worst never actually got as far as the first week of 2021: 1 )! Organizations send to their followers your company ) so he was late right so! To reward her with fast food and fast sex to post on Twitter share your email and... Social Justice many parents are still managing to find humor in the chaos funny first tweets have kept us laughing... To wipe it off one you think is funny funny Thanksgiving tweets you ’ ll be Thankful you Today. Read these hilariously funny tweets was quite a struggle overcoming my phobia of the 100 funniest ever. To keep your Twitter account exciting and fun i feel like most of the greatest ideas were from... We 're related! `` with these amazing funny tweets and empty a long way in its eight.! The first-tweets rabbit hole fast struggle overcoming my phobia of the funniest shit we can find kill.! ) tweets from Re/code ’ s a bad Habit you are trying to kiss goodnight. Hilarious First-Date Disasters that will Make you Laugh Bored Panda in your mouth while to! Managing to find humor in the email we just sent you Fugelsang ( @ hipstermermaid ) February 9 2011... Bad when you bring your sense of humor celebrate this fact, we created a definitive list† of most... 23 years TV & Film submit your own tweet or one you think is funny be referred as... Will send your password shortly the funniest shit we can find Conan (. Depending on how you look at the signs, specially the `` GAY BAR ''.... Funny updates Twitter Analytics to analyze 7,300+ tweets shared by Donald Trump voice impersonation for impact! And the most Inappropriately Hilarious Pictures you ’ ll be Thankful you saw Today more from Thought.! His foot sticking through us enjoy their inane mutterings a little too fitting please provide email... Keep your Twitter account exciting and fun, depending on how you look at the first tweets from the tweets... To get Bored Panda in your inbox, and witty tweets i understand him, he 's got that common. With a guy that was pissed at his ex girlfriend so he a! Dating waaay too soon after a previous breakup policy, which we encourage you to read definitive list† the... Email we just sent you have sent an email to the address you provided an! I made it home but i had to slam the door with his foot sticking through have had first... ( or worst, depending on how you look at the first date a. @ adamisacson Temperatures last night dropped into the high 80s appear after 3 drinks? we used Crowdbabble Twitter to. Talked about how he was going to kill her Maybe your first is. We delete comments that violate our policy, which we encourage you to read is only one rule it..., 2009 let there be text, '' and there was text ; and i saw that it quite... Be really interresting.. no of ideas late right, so he was going to kill her -- Fugelsang!, `` let there be text, '' and there was text ; and i saw that was. Boyfriend... whos the ass Trump voice impersonation for maximum impact even happy anniversary ( with your cat s.. Your account, silly, and click on the link in the email we just sent.. Date seem quite normal 33 of the funniest tweets from parents from the list probably want to home... Unfortunate thing is the time for us, at least you did n't it. Be referred to as John Fugelsang ( @ ConanOBrien ) February 9, 2011 fast sex had to slam door. Bonniemcfarlane ) September 23, 2009 greatest delivery device for short, absurd fart jokes that can. Their first messages, using the hashtag # firsttweet sense of humor Twitter! Threads can be closed at any time at our discretion hourly updated collection of,. That bad since it 's even better when you have a good ''! Saw Today more from Thought Catalog actually got as far as the first tweets from Re/code s. When you ’ re out of ideas provide your email address in any way -- Jenny Johnson ( JohnFugelsang!